Monday, April 20, 2009

Complicated (Redux)

I really was hoping I wouldn't have to make a sequel to "Complicated," but for as much as I understand about the universe and sports and music, I am absolutely clueless when it comes to females. They say they want caring and understanding, and when you give it to them they take it and run the opposite way, like All-Pro cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha picking off your favorite quarterback in the endzone.

Exactly like that.

You think you finally have something, you think you got those six points and scored--and when I mean score, I'm not taking about some sexual conquest--and then the corner plays under and takes it the other way the length of the field for a touchdown. Pick-6. I'm now negative on the scoreboard. An even better example is the end of the first half of Super Bowl XLIII: The Cardinals were primed for a score, and then the unthinkable happens--they lose the ball.

Why do I keep losing the ball? My quarterback vision could be better but I can see a blitz coming 20 yards away. My defensive line is small but they're quick on the feet and get the job done, like the legendary Zone-Blocking scheme. I know I have what it takes to win a championship, but apparently no one else out there feels the same way. All I can keep doing is going back to the drawing board in the locker room, working on new offensive formations with my receivers and backs, and hope that my team will catch that miracle at the end of the game, like Santonio Holmes did at the end of Super Bowl XLIII.

Maybe I need to stop dealing with girls and start getting to know women.

No comments:

Post a Comment