It's been a long month and there is still a week to go. I have been busy with everything from college applications and just trying to maintain a standard of excellence at work. I've matured a lot and have noticed a great change in my habits since I got back from visiting my Mom over the Christmas break. I'm spending more time on getting my priorities in order and less time worrying about things that really don't matter in the long run. By doing this, I'm setting myself up for success and am able to use my energy on things that will be beneficial to my well-being.
It hasn't been easy, though. There have been moments where I've found myself wondering if I'm really doing the right thing in life by virtually putting the needs of others before my own. It's no secret that I don't get paid a lot of money for what I do, but I tell myself all the time that I don't do this for the money. I do this for all of the kids that I mentor that need guidance that they probably aren't going to get outside of those few class periods I spend with them every day. When I think about them doing well and the impact I have on their time at school, I appreciate the opportunity to even be able to mentor students who need a role model in their lives.
In addition, I have often found myself wondering what I would do after this current job. I know I'm going to be back in school, but I don't exactly know where. Hopefully God can put the answers in front of me... He always does. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to focus on becoming a better person and making the best of whatever life might throw at me. One of the things that was always stressed in church when I was a kid was that God will never give you more than you can handle. I'm a firm believer in that.
Aside from all of that, I'm feeling as creative as ever right now. By not focusing on my love life (or lack thereof... ha!), I've had a chance to get back to doing things I enjoy, like making tracks, writing whatever comes to mind, and just being myself. I tell myself all the time that as long as I'm comfortable with who I am, that's all that matters. And in the end, I'm finally starting to believe that.